I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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