he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
