32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
