addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
birth control should be required to get into college
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
