if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
