I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
