Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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