Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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