omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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