The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
