you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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