you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
