Can Purell be used as lube?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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