I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
They have beer where we have blood.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
