the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I AM VODKA MAN
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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