We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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