How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
