i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
