Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
