walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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