I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
