i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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