Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
