Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
