i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
