He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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