Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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