I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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