...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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