no. you can't hotbox the world.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So much rum. So many feels.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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