i need an iv and a liver transplant
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
