Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
