I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
