i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
