too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
