ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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