i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
