So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
