I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
