White coat. Heels.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
