its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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