My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
