I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
