Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
