how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
