do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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