Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
