I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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