"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Watching her eat just hurts me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
