all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
A+ Viking dick
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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